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Games of the XXIX LOLympiad
Apparently up to one hundred and twenty hours of sport took place every day of the Olympics. It makes me wonder why they don’t spread it out over a few months so we can watch all of it. And it makes me wonder why Channel 7 thinks it should run ten minute ad breaks. Having SBS broadcast also was good in that we had more choice, but it didn’t eventuate well - SBS decided they needed to run ads far too often for a non-commercial station, and I usually wanted to watch the sport on both channels or neither channel.
Of the sixteen days of competition, I probably went out and watched in the company of the cool kids on at least ten. It’s much better with company.
The absolute highlight of the games was Sally McLellan. There’s not much can be said of her, it has to be seen.
I think I did I dunno, I got out, did you see me? I was standing at the start and I was just… did you see how pumped I was? I was probably more pumped than I’ve ever been in my life! And I just got out, look I don’t even know how I got out, I got over the hurdles, I… like, shit! I could see the girl pass me, saw Lolo pass me… just keep running your own race keep running your own race… and I did!
Complete with running actions at the appropriate times. The greatest moment in Australian Olympic history. For. Sure.
I reactivated my facebook account just to add her as a friend. When dad saw the interview he just shook his head and muttered, “She’s a fruitcake.”
Usain Bolt on the other hand, is a complete fool. He is a great, great athlete, but simultaneously sums up all that is utterly irrelevant to humanity. Just imagine how his name would be remembered forever if he was a genuinely humble man. As it is he will be forgotten, along with every other hyperbole in a world full of hyperbole.
Probably the second best bit of the games was the 200m men’s final. Bolt won. For many years I have been fighting the urge to entertain thoughts of violence against (usually American) sprinters who prance around with their heads up… yeah you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, the American Wallace Spearmon thought he came second, though he actually came third. But he was quickly disqualified for running in his neighbour’s lane. For a full five minutes he failed to notice his disqualification and pranced around with Bolt like nobody’s business. I was glued to the television! I was so desperate to see him realise he was disqualified. In the end it wasn’t as great as it could have been, but it was still painful yet fantastic to watch.
The opening ceremony was good, but boring. The only exciting bit was when the lights went out and those drumming kids had glowing drumsticks. The closing ceremony was fairly boring, though London’s humourously pathetic part provided some entertainment, albeit the wrong type.
The Australian women’s basketball team uniform is bad bad bad. All the other teams wear the usual basketball shorts and singlet. Why does the Australian team need a tight one-piece swimsuit thing? It made watching them play fairly uncomfortable.
The beach volleyball suffers the same kind of problem. The men’s competition was good to watch, but not the women’s. The Australian Tamsin Barnett is an impressive player.
The German women’s football goalkeeper is a very angry lady. My brother and I noticed it during a game - every time the camera was on her she was yelling and gesturing and looking quite sour. After laughing at this for a few minutes we discovered that her name was Nadine Angerer. Genius.
The brand new event, Grown-ups on kids bikes (also known as BMX) was good, but so short. Each race was all of forty seconds. The results in both the men’s an women’s finals was the same - the main field all within a few seconds of each other, the Australian one minute behind them, and two DNFs. Crashes are fun though.
As Channel 7 cut away to an ad break they show a short animation and logo type screen, the type of thing you never really pay attention to. During the rowing events there was an animation that I didn’t take much notice of, until one day i realised what it was. It was an oar in water, but I had been subconsciously thinking it was a giant pair of tongs pulling a piece of paper out of a fiery swirl of chocolate. It probably says something profound about television when that’s what I had been thinking, but I had never stopped to question it, but I wouldn’t know what.
Stephanie Rice and Michael Phelps are a bit greedy. For some reason we got the impression they wanted to do these ones:

Olympic sport isn’t the greatest, though when they include cricket it will be much better. But the more I do it, the more I think that watching sport with mates is what mankind was made for.
7 Comments on “Games of the XXIX LOLympiad”

Where did you get your blog layout from? I’d like to get one like it for my blog.
August 28th
you should have a warning that the sally interview, whilst hilarious, contains an s grenade, i didn’t want to hear that.
did you get to be her friend? if so, tell her off for her dodgy language.
August 28th
settle ross.
August 28th
why are you telling funny old ross to settle?
August 28th
yeah the olympics was rad, it was good for always having something to watch, even during the usually fail hours for tv of the early afternoon.
i’d say my favourite part of olympics was during the gymnastics when the male commentator was talking about the american chick Nastia liukin (a gun name might i add) “she’s a beautiful looking gymnast… [slight awkward pause] …and by that i mean she goes about her routines well…”.
lawlz.
but now i’m just looking forward to the next olympics, when everyone is gonna be making jokes about it being the XXX olympiad. maybe then they’ll have semi-legitimate reason for the chick’s beach voleyball costumes.
August 28th
chanel seven was was a fail, sbs was boring, the only good bit was the rad kids on the couch
September 2nd
2 di weeeerrrllll!!
September 2nd