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The War On Everything
// 31st July
I love ABC’s Chaser. Chaser’s election coverage (The Chaser Decides), The Chaser Non-Stop News Network (CNNNN), and now, Chaser’s War On Everything.
Last week, Chas Licciardello got arrested in a stunt for the show - selling fake weapons at the rugby, under the guise of official merchandise, to the notoriously violent Bulldogs supporters. Though the stunt was admittedly slightly lame, the reaction to it was pure gold.
And it got me to thinking. A few weeks back, on a new segment called ‘Famous Face-Off’, Quan from Regurgitator, and Tim Rogers from You Am I were pitted against each other to find out who was ‘the hardest rocker in the world’. The challenge was to break as many guitar strings in one minute as they could, and halfway through they could make use of an assortment of tools including a mallet, a saw, and two beer bottles.
Quan went first. He got warmed up as you would expect with some hard playing, but then started smashing his guitar on the ground, before taking to it with the saw and a shifter. He broke five strings.
Tim Rogers warmed up quite quickly, and ten seconds in to his turn had started using his guitar to smash various items that were sitting on shelves of the studio, including a microwave. He then smashed a hole in the studio wall using the guitar neck. Then, out of nowhere, Quan sprung across the stage behind him with one of the beer bottles and smashed it over his head. Rogers turned his guitar around, and using the butt end, made the hole in the wall a fair bit larger, then smashed the second beer bottle over his own head, before his minute was up. He managed to break only one string.
The prize was presented to Quan as a trophy, and a groupie (in reference to the scantily clad ‘woman’ who presented the trophy). Quan and the girl walked off the set holding hands, closely followed by Tim Rogers, who was pulling down his pants as he went, giving everyone a clear view of his backside as he walked out the door.
A lot of noise, a hole in the studio wall big enough for a guitar to fit through, glass all over the floor, and and Tim Rogers with his pants down. And Quan. It was gold.
This is what my hard earned taxes are spent on. I love Australia. I am a happy, happy man.
4 Comments
Rugby League
// 28th July
I quite forgot to mention that a couple of weeks ago I saw The Whitlams play a free gig on the floating stage on Darling Harbour. Being rather expensive, fireworks aren’t what you’d generally associate with a free gig, but there were lots of them, and although I don’t listen to The Whitlams all that much - I only own one of their albums - I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Not The Whitlams, but you get the idea.
All their ‘Melbourne is the greatest city on earth’, and “I don’t believe in rugby league” type songs were fairly well taken by the Sydney audience. At least, nobody died, that I noticed.
You should check out The Whitlams if you get the chance, because they really are all kinds of great.
2 Comments
Funky Cory
// 27th July
Way back when I was about eight years old, in the days before CD players, I used to play my mum’s cassettes. One of my favourites was Simon & Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Water.
Thanks to the ultra-hip Sylvia, I now have The Essential Simon & Garfunkel - over two hours of folk goodness. According to the expert herself, this is the best Simon & Garfunkel compilation going, so in trust, I’m very happy.
Ahh, the memories. Ahh, to be eight again.
5 Comments
El Hombre Transparente
// 24th July
I went to buy Muse’s Black Holes and Revelations again, and again I had a small brain implosion, resulting in me getting Youth Group’s new album. I don’t need to say anything about it, as you’ve probably already got it, or at least have some sort of opinion on it already. I will say however, that in my humble opinion, it’s not as good as Skeleton Jar.
Also, Forever Young is tacked onto the end, just like the last album. Despite lots of talk about ‘album flow’ and such, it doesn’t fit at all. But you know, if they tack it onto every album they release from now on, and that means they have finances to continue making music, then I’m okay with that.
What you must do however, is listen to track four, Start Today Tomorrow. Then go and listen to High and Dry by Radiohead - just the first minute of each. Yeah you guessed it, they are exactly the same!
The summer rain is falling like it’s never gonna stop yeah it’s been ages
Puddles form on city corners businessmen they leap between the edges
You’d kill yourself for recognition; kill yourself to never ever stop
You broke another mirror; you’re turning into something you are not.
Don’t leave me hiiiiiiiii…
6 Comments
Cotton On Ladies
// 21st July
Why is it that girls give boys random things, and say “you have to keep this forever”?
This doesn’t just happen to me, does it?
The first time I remember it happening was a few years ago when I was given a tag, torn from a girls hat, that said ‘Jendi’ on it. “Keep it forever”, she said. I didn’t because hey, it was a piece of cloth from the hat of a girl I haven’t seen since.
I also remember being given a piece of rubbish picked up off the middle of the road while I was stopped at a traffic light. She was sitting in the passenger seat and said, “Hey look, a weight loss flyer”. She then proceeded to put it in my glove box and tell me I had to keep it forever. Why?
The reason I ask this, is because the other week I had a ripped off clothing tag shoved in my pocket, and was told I had to keep it forever.
Cotton On
made in china
100% acrylic
hand wash
only
Precisely seven days later I had another tag, exactly the same, in my hands. (Admittedly this time there was no “keep it forever”, just an offhand “here, have this”). True story.
So, why? Does this happen to anyone else? What does it mean? She’s lazy and wants you to put her rubbish away? It’s some sort of subconscious girl urge?
I’m a little bit scared that as I stand at the gates of heaven, God’s going to ask me to present my collection of girls clothing tags, and I’m going to have to tell Him that I didn’t quite realise the significance at the time.
Girls, feel free to contribute to this puzzle, however be aware that as you are categorically insane your answers may not carry as much weight.
How Embarassment
// 19th July
When he’s about to hug you for the first time, you’re going to be just a little bit light-headed. Don’t try and pretend it’s all okay. Make sure you’re on flat ground. Stairs are a no-no. Taking ten seconds to make sure you’ve got your bearings won’t ruin the moment half as much as tripping over will.
=(
Amidst all these beginnings, I’m quite loving The Futureheads’ Skip To The End. Not being all emo here, it’s just a freakin’ great song.
If I could cheat
I’d skip to the end
To decide, if it’s worth going through with
Skip to the last paragraph before we start
Is it a happy ending, or a broken heart?
Naa, na-na na na na.
I Tried To Say
// 18th July
By the way, I got a credit and a distinction in my last two subjects. Assuming I got my subject combinations right - and who would know if I did - university is over forever (or at least until I start another course). Woo!
3 Comments
Let’s Sub-Categorise
// 17th July
“You Know Yer Indie. Let’s Sub-Categorise.”
You’re an Indie Pop Kid. You like songs about relationships and the prettiness of nature. You’re sentimental, but not certainly not emo. Oh, and if you aren’t an English Major, you should be.
12 Comments